End of Day Five, Start of Day Six:
How can I love my neighbor as myself if I disguise my pride and love of self as spiritual poverty?
This may seem basic, but for me it is incredibly hard to forgive myself of the things of my past.
As if I am so bad that Jesus's sacrifice on the execution stake was not enough to cover MY sin.
Do you see?
P R I D E
This is selfishness of pride buried under a spirit of slavery and oppression.
Look at me, in my pity party. Look at my excuse for my sin because I am lazy and do not do what I am supposed to.
Matthew 22: 34-40
34 But the Pharisees, when they heard that Yeshua had silenced the Sadducees, gathered together in one place. 35 And testing Him, one of them, a lawyer, asked, 36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Torah?”
37 And He said to him, “‘You shall love Adonai your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ [c] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ [d] 40 The entire Torah and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
Love your neighbor AS yourself.
I just love myself.
I am contending with my own selfish wants and desires. and I must ask myself, do I TRULY want to submit and serve others as Jesus served?
Would I be able to keep watch as Yeshua grieved unto death?
or, in my selfishness, would I fall asleep?
Matthew 26: 36-46
36 Then Yeshua comes with them to a place called Gethsemane, and He tells the disciples, “Sit here, while I go over there and pray.” 37 And He took along Peter and Zebedee’s two sons, and He began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38 Then He tells them, “My soul is deeply grieved, even to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with Me.” 39 Going a little farther, He fell face down and prayed, saying,
“My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me! Yet not as I will, but as You will.”
40 Then He comes to the disciples and finds them sleeping; and He tells Peter, “So couldn’t you keep watch with Me for one hour? 41 Keep watching and praying, so that you won’t enter into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” 42 Again for a second time He went away and prayed, saying,
“My Father, if this cannot pass away unless I drink it, let Your will be done.”
43 And again He came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were heavy. 44 So He left them again and prayed a third time, saying the same words once more. 45 Then He comes to the disciples and says to them,
“Still sleeping? Taking your rest? Look, the hour is at hand, and the Son of Man is being delivered into the hands of sinners. 46 Get up, let’s go! Look, My betrayer is near.”
Oh, Lord, Forgive me for my complacency.
Abba, I repent of my pride. I repent of my selfish desires. Please help me learn how to lay them down to serve your kingdom. Please help me to love my neighbor as myself and not just in word but in spirit and truth.
Abba, I repent for being asleep. Going about my days without consequence. Please help me to see that it is your will to be done, not mine. Let me serve your kingdom and bring you honor and glory.